Chapters from the Book
"The Outrageous Myths of
Enlightenment"
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Bottom Line: How Does This Work?
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You and Me Are the Same One: This is Love
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No Separate I—No Suffering—No Awakening
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Love and
Intimate Relationships
Bottom Line: How Does
This
Work?
There is nothing mystical or
magical about this. It is simple, logical and applicable to
everyone. This is not just for special beings who were able to transcend
their earthly fetters and rise above the lowly egoic peasantry through years
of self-sacrifice and meditation. That's all nonsense. This is true for
anyone and everyone.
These words apply to you and to me:
"We are free here and now, it is only the mind that imagines bondage.
Seeing that there is no such thing as a permanent, separate person, all
becomes clear. You are the immensity and infinity of consciousness. It is
lucid, silent, peaceful, alert, and unafraid - without desire and fear. To
realize this is the end of all seeking."
Nisargadatta Maharaj
These few words say it all. Let's break them down.
1) "We are free here and now, it is only the mind that imagines bondage."
Is this true? Consider your own experience. When you are sitting
quietly, not thinking about yourself and your problems, can anything trouble
you? Can there be any bondage if you are not imagining yourself to be
bound? Of course you are free here and now!! Nisargadatta puts
it another way, too: "Nothing can trouble you but your own imagination."
There is no such thing as bondage. It is merely a concept!
2) "Seeing that there is no such thing as a permanent, separate person,
all becomes clear."
Is this true? Look for yourself. What is the common denominator
in all of your suffering, all of your problems? What is at the center of
your life situation? What is this "me" that says, "my" life, "my"
problems? If it is seen that there is no separate me, no separate
person here at all, can there be any suffering? The me who was bound
and suffering is just imagination. Reading the words and agreeing or
disagreeing is not enough. Seeing this for yourself is the key.
3) "You are the immensity and infinity of consciousness. It is lucid,
silent, peaceful, alert, and unafraid - without desire and fear."
If I am not the separate person I thought I was then what am I? Isn't
consciousness your essential nature? If you are not conscious can
anything else exist? Can there be a "me" and "my" story if consciousness is
not there to witness it? What is the nature of pure consciousness?
Isn't it clear, silent, peaceful, alert, unafraid? So consciousness is
what you are: not a separate person.
4) "To realize this is the end of all seeking."
For what are you seeking? Aren't you seeking for clarity, peace,
freedom from desire and fear? Aren't these the characteristics of
consciousness? You are what you are seeking! Realizing that you are
consciousness, not the separate person you imagined yourself to be, the
seeking comes to an end and you are free!
When these words are understood and known as the truth they become your
daily living experience. It's as simple as it looks. There's
nothing magical or mystical about it. There
is no need for any mystical experience of universal love and union. The understanding brings on a simple experience of Peace and well-being that
is felt as the common ground of all your daily experiences. Happiness
and sadness, laughter and tears, anger and joy: all come and go in this
awareness of peace and well-being. Nothing to gain. Nothing to
lose. Everything is as it is.
You
and Me Are the Same One: This is Love
Question: I’ve been reading about Advaita and
non-duality. It’s very clear when I read it, but in daily
life it gets a bit confusing. Of course the question is
always related to ‘me’ versus ‘them’.
Stephen: Yes, of course. At the root of personal
confusion, and questions in personal relationships is the
belief in the existence of a separate me, a separate ego who
has power to exercise his own will. If there is the
unexamined belief that you exist as an independent,
self-directing entity, then naturally you’ll see others as
independent, self-directing entities, too. Therein lies the
potential for personal, egoic conflicts in relationships.
Seeing
there is no separate, independent entity there in you, it is
also seen there is no separate, independent entity in
another. Challenges, differences and conflicts may still
arise, but they are not experienced as personal conflicts.
There is no personal me versus a personal you; there are
just conflicts arising.
You and
me are both appearances of the One Mysterious Source. If
there’s conflict between you and me, it’s part of the play
of the One. You and me are the same One in essence. Seeing
you and me as the same One can be called Love.
Q:
This isn’t a big deal, but it gets me wondering. Should I be
worried about how I behave in relationship with others? I’m
always thinking that I could do better than I’m doing. I
should be more giving, and say more kind words with other
people. Should I contemplate this or should I just let it
work out naturally?
S:
It’s already working itself out naturally. Everything is
working itself out naturally and spontaneously. You are not
the source of the kind words or of the giving. If more
giving and kind words are to happen through you, you
couldn’t stop them. There’s no separate you there to take
credit for the giving or the kind words; nor to take the
blame for the lack thereof. And if there’s worrying about
how one should behave in relationship, then there’s
worrying. Who can stop it? Can a volcano stop itself from
erupting? Can it take any credit or blame?
Q:
Sometimes when I’m talking to my father and he begins to
talk over me, I sense this frustration. My body starts to
shake and I begin to defend myself. But, I must admit, it
has gotten better after my realization.
S:
You may notice the sense that you’re watching these
frustrating interactions with others happen rather than
being a participant in them. You are the witnessing presence
of the conflict; you are not the person involved in the
conflict.
Q:
Does it really matter if one doesn’t believe in the mind?
Though I’m not choosing any thoughts I could be controlled
by thoughts unconsciously.
S:
Who is this ‘I’ that is controlled by thoughts? Isn’t it
just another thought? Everything is happening, no doubt, but
is there an ‘I’ to whom it’s happening?
Q:
My shyness troubles me sometimes because I want to be more
alive in relationship with other people. But I find myself
being dull or too simple. I’m aware that this is only based
on some random thoughts in my brain, but they keep
circulating.
S:
Some people are quiet and shy; others are loud and
gregarious. Is it your doing? Is one right and the other
wrong? Yes, your analysis is correct: your concerns are only
based on some random thoughts circulating in you.
Q:
Should I drop all my hopes of how I want to be, or should I
try with ambition to be more alive in human relationship?
S:
You can make an effort to be more outgoing and expressive in
your relationships, but there’s no need to suffer over it.
If it’s causing you to suffer, then drop it if you can. It’s
not your doing in the first place.
Q:
Another example: my mother is a master at getting me worried
that I’m not giving enough to other people, and that I
should visit my brothers more often. But I don’t feel a
strong motivation to do it. Because of this, I always doubt
that I understand non-duality. It’s seems that sometimes I
do understand, and sometimes I don’t.
S:
Understanding non-duality is completely unrelated to the
concerns you’ve posed. Whether you’re motivated to take
certain actions, or if others are pleased with your actions,
have no relation to the fact that your essential nature is
awareness, and you are not the ego. Realizing this in your
own direct experience, there is a sense of peace and
acceptance of whatever is happening. You are the witnessing
presence of all that arises. You are not the doer.
Q:
This questioning of my understanding is especially apparent
when I’m around people. I get shy with people that I feel
are superior to me. It’s a silly thought, but sometimes I
don’t find it effective to just drop the thought. It seems
to be deeper in me than just my thoughts. There must be
something deeper than transient thoughts that control me.
S:
Yes, there is something infinitely deeper. In fact, so much
deeper that it’s an absolute mystery. The same Mysterious
Source that makes the flowers bloom, the sun shine, and the
earth turn is controlling this puppet called Gerri.
Q:
What is it that stops me from doing whatever I want? Why do
I feel shy and hesitant around some people? Why don’t I
express myself freely, and not worry about what others
think? Maybe it’s just the way my body and mind was made? Is
my nature in the dual world to be shy and insecure? Or
should I just let everything be as it, even if I’m shy to
some people? In the end it’s all just thoughts, but I’ve
been living my life and believing those thoughts for some
time. How am I supposed to drop those beliefs?
S:
Is Gerri in control or is everything just happening?
Q:
The fact that I am simple awareness has done more good for
my mental state than any other spiritual or religious
system. I now feel this deeper connection when I’m reading
all sorts of spiritual writings. It feels odd that all these
people are looking for something that is always in front of
them.
S:
Yes, stop for a moment right now and just be aware of your
own existence. Do you sense this presence of awareness?
There is seeing, hearing, feeling, and thinking all
happening in you. No effort is required. You are this simple
presence of awareness. Just stop again now and be aware.
This awareness that you are can also be called Love. This
Love that you are loves to laugh and it loves to cry. It
loves to win and it loves to lose. It loves to be at peace
and it loves to be at war. It loves to accept and it loves
to reject. It loves to love and it loves to hate. This
awareness that you are is unconditional Love itself.
Everything that arises in it is soaked in Love. This Love is
what you are.
Q:
Another concern of mine is when I’m at work and I meet all
these new people. Some people I find easy to speak with, and
others I don’t. Is it normal for a non-dualist to continue
to feel uncomfortable sensations and emotions? Should I just
feel them and don’t think about it? Sometimes the present
moment is uncomfortable. Even if I’m not consciously
thinking about it, I just feel uncomfortable.
S:
This puppet called Gerri along with his family, friends, and
co-workers (all puppets, too) appear in your awareness. They
all do their special dance, and then they part. Sometimes
Gerri is comfortable and sometimes he’s not. So it is.
Q:
Can I be conscious of every thought I have? That just can’t
be. There must be some hidden thoughts and motives that keep
causing me to do what I’m doing.
S:
Everything in existence, including all thoughts, feelings,
motives, and actions are caused by the One Mysterious Puppet
Master. Gerri is a puppet, not the Puppet Master.
Q:
Well, as you can see I can be a bit doubtful. This must
explain why I feel an affinity to non-duality because I’m
really good at seeing some flaws in other systems—be it
religious or spiritual. My mind is always looking for some
flaws to think about. Will my mind change if I stop worrying
about it?
S:
Gerri has no mind of his own. Thoughts appear and then they
disappear. Where is Gerri’s mind?
No
Separate I—No Suffering—No Awakening
Question: I need help awakening. I have several
questions regarding awakening and would be thankful for your
response. I have questioned myself time and again about
whether there is a separate being here with any independent
nature, and never find any central 'I' or anyone with
control. There are just thought processes and movement of a
body occurring.
Stephen: Yes, that’s what this simple inquiry reveals:
there is no independent, separate entity; there is no
central I, there is no ego or controlling entity here. In
your own direct experience all that can be found is a body
and thoughts. So it’s seen that there is no separate person,
no independent I or ego there in you. Then what are you?
What’s left? What’s always been here? What is it that is
aware of the body and thoughts that arise? Is it
consciousness? Are you this consciousness? This
consciousness that you are is right here and right now.
Stop and
be aware of this consciousness right now. Stop again for a
moment, take a deep breath, and notice the presence of this
consciousness. This is what you are. Do you notice the
simplicity of this? You are this simple consciousness. This
simple consciousness that you are is already awake. This
simple presence of awareness that you are was never asleep.
This consciousness that you are is the 'awakening' for which
you’ve been striving. You have always been this simple
presence of awareness. Without you, this consciousness,
there can be no body, nor any thoughts. You are this
witnessing presence that is always here and now.
Now,
you’ve seen in your own direct experience that there is no
independent I, no separate ego here; there’s just a body and
thoughts. So, tell me, who can awaken? Who was ever asleep?
Who was suffering? There is no separate, independent person
who can suffer. There is no separate, independent person who
can awaken. There is only consciousness.
You are
this simple presence of awareness, and in you the idea of
being a separate person arose in the form of the thought
'I'. This I-thought is the birth of the appearance of
separation and the beginning of personal suffering.
Believing in the reality of your own existence as a
separate, independent 'I', suffering is inevitable.
Seeing in
your own direct experience that there is no independent I,
no separate person, there can be no suffering and no
awakening. The ideas of personal suffering and awakening are
based on the unexamined belief in the existence of a
separate I who can suffer, and a separate I who can awaken.
There is no separate I.
The
separate I, personal suffering, and awakening are all pure
imagination. There is no I. There is no one who can suffer.
There is no one who can awaken. All there is, is this
consciousness, and you are this. Do you see this now? This
simple recognition is the resolution of all personal
suffering and seeking for awakening, liberation, and
enlightenment. This is it. There’s nothing to do, nothing to
attain, nothing to avoid. This is it!
Q:
In the beginning this questioning created great feelings of
peace and sometimes a feeling of blissful emptiness. It’s been
a month now since I first began. When I question my self now
all I feel is stressed.
S:
Drop it all. The inquiry is based on the belief in a
separate I. In your own direct experience you’ve seen there
is no separate I. It is done. The whole story of suffering
and awakening falls to pieces as it was based on a false
premise—an imaginary 'I'.
Q:
Even though it is seen that there is no one here when the
questioning occurs, when I go about my daily life it’s
forgotten. How is this made into a permanent realization?
S:
Your daily life is happening, but there’s no 'I' there who’s
doing it. Life is happening, but to no one. This is not a
conceptual understanding that can be remembered or
forgotten. It is the non-conceptual recognition that there
is no independent, separate entity here; there is only
consciousness. Life goes on as it always has, but for no
one.
Love and Intimate Relationships
Question:
I've heard and read that our natural state of awareness can also
be called love. Can you expand upon this?
Stephen: The presence of awareness with the absence of
'me'
is love.
Q: Is the absence of
'me' required for there to be love? Can't love be experienced in personal, intimate relationships?
S: Love is the essence of all existence. Love is
the natural state of all being. All there is is love. Without love, nothing is. Love is not personal. There is
no 'my' love or 'your' love: there is just love.
Q: How is love experienced on a personal level in intimate
relationships? Surely, there must be a 'you' and a 'me' to
know and experience love!
S: When two are involved in a personal relationship
there are times when the sense of 'you' and 'me' (ego) falls away in
each person. In the absence of the sense of you and me there is
love. This is the sense of peace, joy, and blissful oneness
for which we're all longing: it's our natural state.
When the sense of ego rises again, the natural state of love is
personalized by the mind and claimed as a personal experience of the
ego. The two egos then assume that the other is the source of their
love. This, of course, leads to fear of loss, jealousy and a host of
other painful emotions.
Q: That makes sense, but I don't
'love' everyone. There is a
special sense of love I have for my partner. Aren't there different
types of love?
S: On a personal level, there are different types of
relationships, and there can be a special attraction between
partners based on biological and psychological compatibility. But there are not different types of love or a special love. Love is
the essence of all being, it's absolute, unconditional, and
impersonal.
Q: How will this recognition help me with my personal
relationships?
S: Knowing yourself as pure awareness and not a
separate ego, there is the recognition that your essential nature is
love. You are what you have always been seeking. You don't need
anyone or anything to fill the sense of emptiness, loneliness, and
separation that is the egoic experience. The fear of loss, jealousy,
and other painful emotions that are the essence of egoic
relationships fall away. You are able to truly enjoy the beauty of
all human relationships in complete freedom, love, and peace.
Love is your natural state.
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